I emerged fully-formed out of a coconut nearly 30 years ago. Since that time I've cultivated a fine appreciation for life's most refined pleasures; currier island-rolled cigars, our local intoxicating beverage and, of course, beach ultimate. After years of intense discipline sculpting both mind and body into this exceedingly rare specimen of humanity that you would see before you were you to be before me, I was appointed the well-deserved post of Minister of Miscegenation. It was in that storied office that I first traveled to foreign lands to represent my native land, this "shining bastion in the sea", at the World Championship in Portugal. Depening on the theory to which one subscribes we came either 10th, 1st or possibly 3rd in that tournament. These rankings have inspired me to redouble my efforts to become undoubtably redoubtable on the sand. Mostly this consists of drinking more and shaving less, with occasional ultimate practice thrown in for good effect. I welcome all visitors and immigrants to Currier Island. Most especially those of you with comely faces and wide, child-bearing hips. You are kindly requested to register in our Miscegeny Candidates database so that we may have your "digits" on record. Your ever humble and faithful servant, H. E. Amb. T. S. L. DuVal